Tag Archives: Dating

Dating in Asia Chronicles 1-4 (2023)

Requested by men in The West as well as those who’ve escaped to The East, I’ve decided–in a series of shorts– to share a few private thoughts and observations about my personal life since moving to this side of the world. Let the oft-requested Dating in Asia Chronicles begin!

Intro-Why:

 

Dating in Asia 1-The Main Difference:

 

Dating in Asia 2-Approaching:

Dating in Asia 3-My Preferences:

Dating in Asia 4-Your Mileage May Vary:

 

Why China? Vietnam? Asia-Pacific? An answer in allegory!

I came across this short allegory online and immediately thought it was the best answer to why I had to leave New York City and why I’ve found my bliss in China, Vietnam and the Asia-Pacific region. The story was credited to Joshua Crouch, though I’m not sure if he’s the original author. (I’ve changed the speaker’s child from “daughter” to “son.”)

• WHY I ESCAPED FROM MAINLAND AMERICA·

A father said to his son “You have graduated with honors, here is a car I bought many years ago. It is pretty old now. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you for it.”

The son went to the used car lot, returned to his father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because they said it looks pretty worn out.”

The father said, now “Take it to the pawn shop.” The son went to the pawn shop, returned to his father and said,”The pawn shop offered only $100 because it is an old car.”

The father asked his son to go to a car club now and show them the car. The son then took the car to the club, returned and told his father,” Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it because “it’s an iconic car and sought by many collectors.”

Now the father said this to his son “The right place values you the right way,” If you are not valued, do not be angry, it simply means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you……Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.

Doing it Dexter Style (pg 154): Scientific, “Newtonian” proof that relationships are not meant to last

Turning your passion into profit, living true to your self, achieving freedom, and nomadpreneuring are all about living the life of your dreams. Of course, for many of us, our intimate relationships are a part of those dreams. In order to achieve the sort of satisfying relationships you dream of, it is important to recognize that a new paradigm is required. According to “If you want to be my girlfriend…” featuring Dexter Style:

IN THE NEW PARADIGM BASED ON FREEDOM,
the goal is to honestly express the self, and enter into relationships based on standards and choice, in which honesty is encouraged, freedom results, and pleasure and happiness are maximized. In such a paradigm:

standards = clarity

Clarity = choice

choice= compatibility

exchange = equivalence

honesty = health

endings = evolution

evolution = happiness

The following is a specific excerpt on endings

Scientific, “Newtonian” proof that relationships are not meant to last

“Compromise is the friction that slows a relationship.
Passivity is the gravity that pulls it down.”
—Me

Okay here’s “scientific” proof that relationships aren’t meant to last. It’s a fact of scientific knowledge that nothing in the universe stays the same. In other words, things are either increasing or decreasing, expanding or contracting. Stars explode and expand, and then contract into black holes. Even the very solid and permanent chair you’re sitting on, or, perhaps, the very solid e-reader you’re using to read this, is actually decaying and falling apart. It’s tending toward failure. It’s on a trend towards decay.
Now, according to Newton’s First Law of Motion:

An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and
an object in motion tends to stay in motion,
unless acted upon by an outside force.

A practical illustration of this is that an apple on the ground, tends to stay on the ground. An apple thrown into the air would continue to go upward, but it is “acted upon” by the force of gravity, and is eventually pulled back to earth. A car pushed into motion would continue to move forward, but is acted upon by the force of friction of the engine, axles, wind resistance, and/or the friction of the tires on the pavement.

Now, you might not like to think of your relationship as an object that is subject to the laws of Newtonian physics, but it does apply. In other words:

A relationship at rest tends to stay at rest, and
a relationship in motion tends to stay in motion,
unless acted upon by an outside force.

Like the apple, even if your relationship is trending upwards, at some point it will peak and level off because of the inevitable and natural forces that exist in our finite universe. The Kybalion’s Principle of Rhythm, the concept of Yin and Yang, and other universal truths support this.

Even if it plateaus and levels off, you’re not really out of danger. Since nothing can stay the same, leveling off, “plateauing” or staying the same, is actually equivalent to declining. Don’t believe me? Let me give you an example….

For more, download a preview chapter and order the paperback here: “If you want to be my girlfriend…”


This book has been re-titled: Masculinity 2.0
https://www.masculinity2.com

Coming Black to Asia? Brother, you have NO idea!

For months, I’ve been hinting and promoting and promising a “Black Privilege in China” post on this blog. Well, it’s finally time! It will be a chapter in the book Jamaican in China: Guess Who’s Coming to Dim Sum which includes blog posts as well as behind the scenes stuff, commentary and observations a bit too, let’s say, “potent” for the blog. This preview chapter will give you a sample. If you like it, you can order the full book (pdf, kindle, black & white paperback or color paperback) on my site or on Amazon using the links below: (To view all my books, see my author page on Amazon!)

Coming Black to Asia!
Tales of Black Privilege in China (and Beyond) plus
Walt’s primer on “Traveling While Black”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coming Black to Asia? Brother, You Have NO idea! A curious and observant nomad dispels some myths, allays some fears and corrects some misperceptions of what “traveling while Black” in Asia really means. (An “Adults Only” teaser chapter from the book, Harlem to Hainan: Observations of a Jamaican in China by Walt F.J. Goodridge)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s time someone spoke out.

 This is a secret that has been kept for much too long.

 I’m going to speak in a frank and open way about a subject that many are afraid to discuss; a topic about which many are misguided, and of which many are simply unaware for many reasons including bias, ignorance or misinformation.

Yes, this chapter will share what I know about traveling while Black in Asia.

This chapter is for the enlightenment of all who are curious, but is specifically for the benefit of my Black brothers, fathers, sons, uncles and friends—particularly those living in the US—who have thought about traveling to other lands for fun, freedom, finances, fantasy or to chase a personal dream of one sort or another.

By sharing a few things I’ve experienced firsthand, seen happen to others, or been told about by women and men overseas, I hope to open a new vista, encourage new understanding and mold a new self-perception, and at the very least, offer what I find is a fascinating topic of conversation. Feel free to share this with everyone you know.

CLICK HERE to Download COMING BLACK TO ASIA (AKA) Traveling While Black! A PREVIEW CHAPTER!

TO DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE BOOK FREE AS A PDF CLICK HERE

FULL BOOK IS ALSO AVAILABLE ON AMAZON:

Kindle edition ($4.95): https://amzn.to/2HrIRyz

Black & white ($16.95): https://amzn.to/3i4TJzf

Full color edition ($42.95): https://amzn.to/2S1R3aL

Here is the intro to that chapter:

After you read it, please return to this post and share your comments! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

 

 

“I want to date a Jamaican in China”

I just had to share this with you.

I have tracker software on my blog. Tracker software is a wonderful feature of the internet that provides specific information that’s especially valuable for marketing products and services online. For example, a tracker can reveal who visits your site (no names or emails, just cities and countries), how long they stayed on your site, and even what they typed into a search engine like google in order to find your site.

So, this morning, as I was checking the tracker statistics for this blog, I noticed this:

See last line, Click to see larger image.

Someone in Jinzhou, China went to a computer, got online, opened up google.com, and typed in “I want to date a Jamaican in China.” My site popped up in the search engine results, and voila!

This, of course, leads to some interesting speculation, and some very important questions.

First of all, if she (hopefully a she) is searching for a Jamaican in China and found my site, then that might indicate that she didn’t know about my site before she searched. That’s very interesting. How on earth did that subject (and that desire) come up on its own???? Did she have a friend who dated a Jamaican (or perhaps even THIS Jamaican), and now she wants one of her very own?

Second, according to the tracker, she’s in China already. Is she a Chinese woman who has heard the rumors? Is she a non-Chinese woman, who now finds herself in China, and who wants to recreate a past experience? It’s all quite fascinating, don’t you think? I do.

But, I think you’ll agree with me that the most important question, all kidding aside, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, is, well…

HOW MUCH SHOULD I CHARGE?

With that in mind, I present to you my new service:

“I Want to Date a Jamaican in China!”

Walt in Xishuangbanna on a date,

This could be you!

Yes, ladies, this could be you (and your friends, too! Don’t be selfish now!) For just a nominal hourly, weekly or monthly fee, you could be the envy of your friends and strangers throughout China when you stroll by with your very own foreign Jamaican “date!”

That’s right. They’ll ask (and you’ll NOW KNOW the answer to all the questions everyone is curious about). What questions? Use your imagination, ladies, and don’t play coy with us. We know you know.

Some restrictions, but big benefits apply. Inquire now for details.

And because I have entirely too much time on my hands, here’s the ad I envision. (I’ll have to create one in Chinese, too!)

the ad for walt's ja make a date service

click to view poster-sized, screensaver suitable ad

 

Um, don’t they have laws to describe this sort of thing?

How to Meet Girls in Beijing, China

This post is expanded with even more serious tips on dating in the Kindle/Nook edition of Jamaican in China: Guess Who’s Coming to Dim Sum! (see left sidebar) (Don’t have a Kindle or Nook? CLICK HERE to order regular, ol’ paperback or PDF ebook and download immediately!

From: walt@jamaicaninchina.com

Subject: (resending) Jamaican in China!–How to Meet Girls in Beijing

Date: September 14, 2010 5:17:06 PM GMT+08:00

So, here’s the scenario: You’re a man. You’re not Chinese. You don’t look Chinese, and you’re planning a trip to China! Great! Congratulations!

“So,” you ask, “how are the women there?” (Yes, guys ask that question)

Good news:

thing is, as a foreign (Jamaican) guy, Beijing is probably one of the friendliest places I’ve ever experienced! If your experience is anything like mine, you’ll enjoy being here.

Here’s what you’ve got going for you. Here in China, there’s widespread curiosity about foreigners. People are advertising rooms for rent and “roommate wanted” situations with a preference for foreigners. Most everyone wants to learn English,and people are naturally friendly.

Bad news:

But, even so, there may be some challenges to maximizing your dating prospects. First of all, you’ll be a stranger in a strange land. It’s a different culture. There are different gender roles. You may or may not speak the language, and most people are probably going to assume that you don’t.

But, there are also a few other challenges to meeting girls. This is an unofficial survey, but I’ve already heard it many times from the girls here in Beijing that “I‘m afraid to talk because my English is not good,” or

“…many times we see a handsome foreigner, but we don’t know what to say.

You see, I’ve also learned that a prevalent perception of foreigners that Chinese have (among many) is that there are certain things that Chinese shouldn’t talk about with foreigners lest you offend them.

So think what a challenge it must be for the foreign-curious girl on the street who’s culturally shy, extremely self-conscious about how good her spoken English is, doesn’t know how to initiate a conversation, AND afraid she might offend you by saying the wrong thing?

So, what’s a girl-seeking foreign man to do????

Wouldn’t it be nice if you had some way of letting them know that you’re NOT an unfriendly, selfish foreigner? (I told you there were many stereotypes)

Wouldn’t it be nice if you had some simple way to show that you’re open to talk, that you respect the language and culture?

Hmmm….You’re probably thinking, “I wish I had a t-shirt that said, “Say Hello to me!” or one that said “Ask me anything!” That would be sooo coool!”

Well, you can thank me later, but here it is!

“Say Hello to Me!”

Check this out: An actual t-shirt that says:

跟我说“你好”   (gen wo shuo ni hao)

Mandarain for “Say hello to me!”

Long sleeve version
Don’t like t-shirts? Well, check this out:
a mug that says:
跟我说“你好”   (gen wo shuo ni hao)
Mandarain for “Say hello to me!”
And the best part is (again, you can thank me later), they’re all ready to order at
So, will this t-shirt improve your love life? Well, it might get you a smile, lessen the fear of initiating a conversation, and “get you in the door,” so to speak…What you do after that is entirely up to you, your natural charm, personality and magnetism!
p.s. And you don’t have to be in Beijing to wear it. It’ll work just as well in your local Chinatown in the US or anywhere!. (And every city’s got one!) Wear it loud and proud!
p.p.s. Works great for women too!
p.p.p.s. Forward this email to someone who’d be interested!
p.p.p.p.s. Thanks to Ava Shang for her help with my research!

 

On another note, here’s something you might find interesting:

WANT MORE? Check it out